"
Breathe, keep breathing. Don't lose your nerve" -
Radiohead



Page 113: Teach. Learn. Cool Job. And Passion. *

/ Saturday, November 26, 2011 /

How many of you think that teacher is a popular job in this country? If you raised your hand, then I probably raised my eyebrow a bit. For me, numbers for people who want to be teacher or educator are much lower than, let’s say doctor, lawyer, or business man *and the list goes on*. Negative thinking, I’m totally aware of that. I don’t know about other countries. I have tried to find the research about it, but even Mr. Google has limit, it gave me zero result. Or maybe I didn’t search it well. Ah, well.

The most common reason is society’s mindset about teacher’s salary. Let’s say a kid want to be a teacher after they graduated from high school, it is not a surprise if his/ her parents would avert it. To blame them wouldn’t be a nice decision; because they don’t have this insight that teacher could have a nice wage. The second most common reason is the image that teacher is not a cool job.

image from: here


But what is a cool job? Back where I was still in high school, definition of cool jobs for me would lead to these words:
- Author: you can “play God”. Create characters; make them alive, kill them as you wish, put them in misery, give them happiness. You can inspire people who have read your book(s).
- Journalist: you can go to interesting places, meet interesting people with interesting story.
- Detective: solving mystery. Analyze people characters. Chasing the bad guy.
- Forensic scientist: take a deep look inside human body. Slicing cadavers, seek what caused their death. Err, I should stop before I sound like a psychopath.
- Scientist (including cryptozoologist): searching for mysterious creature! Create something. Make theories. Experimenting. And just like author, scientist can “play God”, in much advanced level.
- Archeologist: Go to pyramids to find out whether it truly has connection with aliens. Find a lost city. Find an artifact. Solve a mystery.
- Curator: analyze art works; decide which painting should have million dollars in its tag price. Ladida. Ladida.
- Own a book shop and antique store: traveling to find rare and antique documents/books. Knowing the history of old stuff.
- Movie and music video director: I grew up when MTV was on the peak of coolness. Unlike now who stuffed with so called reality shows. “Making The Video” was one of the coolest programs they’ve ever run. If you’re a movie director, you can make everything on the script becomes real. You can save history. You can make history.
- Musician: fame, money, and being adored.

Now, all I can think of about cool job is the one which can accommodate your passion. If you’re one of those who think accountant or mathematician is not a cool job, hold that thought inside your head; because some people DO have interest and passion in it. I have a friend, a beautiful and smart girl who’d been asked if she wanted to be an anchor or not. Guess what, she refused it. When I asked the reason, she simply replied, “I like numbers, balance-sheet, and accounting. I really enjoy calculating and I want to be an accountant.”

The cool label on some jobs could shift as time. In the past, kid that want to be artist; be it painter, musicians, actor, actress often got questioned by their parents and society about their future, their welfare; because it was so full with uncertainty and the competition was very tight. Painter for example, has to be super magnificent and talented creating realism paintings. Now, as urban culture takes control, art get this new spot, a comfort one. Pop culture and technology gave so much contribution in creative industry. Artsy people are cool, artworks worth million dollars, parents no longer afraid how their kid would feed themselves in the future if they take “art” as their major.

Did you notice how coin flipped side?

I guess that’s the beauty of diversity. Can you imagine if everyone shares the same interest and craving the same job? I remember when I was interviewing Arian, vocalist of Seringai, he mentioned a good example related to this issue. He told me that what can make music industry run are not only good musicians. It also needs a good business man, a great producer, a dedicated band manager, stage photographer, even a merchandiser. Imagine if everyone wants to become a musician and nobody takes part as promoter? Who will arrange the concert? And what if everyone wants to be a fashion designer, who made the suit? Who sell the textile materials?

Back to teacher as not-that-popular job in Indonesia, my supervisor in office once told me that among those teacher candidates, only few that came from top ranking students. It’s kind of sad, especially when we talked about education system in Indonesia. Perhaps, many of you realize that our system hasn’t changed much since 19th century. The methods that vaguely put “teachers always right and student must listening” still running in many schools. And don’t forget about teacher’s salary. I’m not talking about teacher in International school, but in rural area, village. No wonder if it is not a popular job.

These past two months, working in a foundation that put concern in education and working in a team consisted of wonderful people that share the same interest and hope about education, somehow, keep me thinking that we still can give contribution to this country. Through education and all instruments needed. Especially when I see the students; those teacher candidates that also have passion to educate. Students that believe that educator is one of the sources that revive the exchange process of knowledge to make a better Indonesia. I remember Anies Baswedan’s speech at National Teachers Conference 2011; he said that what makes people on the level of well being isn’t because they work hard. It’s education. You may be rich, but if you weren’t well educated, you are just a person with money without social awareness or thoughts to spread something good. And that’s one of the factors that make those corruptors did odious things.

At this point, I think “well being” isn't just rich. And “well educated” is more than just graduate from some university with a high GPA. Well educated is when we can learn more than what had been written in academic module, when we can explore the bliss of sharing, when we’re living this life.

And this country need not only a dedicated teachers, but teachers that also take role as passionate learners; learn to listen to their students, learn to keep their mind open, learn to inspire and work with passion. As German poet and dramatist, Christian Friedrich Hebbel said, “Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion.” So keep the passion alive, and try to live it. Whatever your job is.

---

a little commemoration for National Teachers' Day 

Page 112: Simion

/ Friday, November 25, 2011 /
I'm in love with her works






Page 110: Current Addiction (part 8)

/ Monday, November 21, 2011 /
FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE - SHAKE IT OUT



"And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around

All of these questions, such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues strong
But it's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it up, shake it out, shake it up, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it up, shake it out, shake it up, shake it out, ooh woaaaah

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn"

---

Great music, beautiful lyrics, powerful voice.
O Florence, you don't know how to stop being amazing, don't you? :)


COLDPLAY - SHIVER


"I'll be waiting in line,
Just to see if you care.
//
So I look in your direction,
But you pay me no attention."

---

err... better leave no comment why this song has been stuck in my head lately. :p

Page 109: No Longer Part of The Effort

/ /
“Only in death will we have our own names since only in death are we no longer part of the effort. 
In death we become heroes.”

- Chuck Palahniuk -

Rest in peace, dear Rael Octoviyan Paat.
(October 24, 1985 - November 20, 2011)


Page 108: Pride Comes Before The Fall

/ Saturday, November 19, 2011 /
O dear, don't set your pride too high above the ground.

image from here

Beware of it.
Because enormous pride brings envy when you think you’re the one who should get some achievements, some prizes, some of these, some of those that others have.
Because overly pride sprout up selfishness when you think you’re the number one, on top of most of the things, the one who should stand out and get priorities; the center of this universe.
Because too much pride put this insight, that life is an endless race, a competition. And when you find other win it, you frown.
Because like old wise saying, "pride comes before the fall".

Go ask Lucifer.

Page 107: I Had Seven Faces

/ Thursday, November 10, 2011 /

"training myself not to care"

Page 106: Sometimes... (Part 11)

/ Tuesday, November 8, 2011 /

Don't have a clue who wrote that.
It goes viral, I think
But i agree completely. 
So, goodbye, some side of you.
This time for real.
For good.

---

random companions which stuck in my playlist and their lyrics stuck in my head lately:

Thom Yorke - Analyse
"There's no spark
You've no light in the dark
"

Jirapah - Alexander
"your hands were not made to palm the stars"

Beck - Modern Guilt
"And I'm falling out of the conversation
And I'm a pawn piece in a human shield"

The National - Start A War
"We expected something
Something better than before
We expected something more"

Cat Power - The Greatest
"Once I wanted to be the greatest
Two fists of solid rock
With brains that could explain
Any feeling"

Interpol - Obstacle 1
"And you go stabbing yourself in the neck
We can find new ways of living make playing only logical harm
And we can top the old times, clay-making that nothing else will change."


Interpol - Slow Hands
"Yeah but nobody searches
Nobody cares somehow
When the loving that you've wasted
Comes raining from a hapless cloud
And I might stop and look upon your face
Disappear in the sweet, sweet gaze
See the living that surrounds me
Dissipate in a violet place

Can't you see what you've done to my heart
And soul?
This is a wasteland now"



Interpol - C'mere
"And so may, we make time
Try to find somebody else
This place is mine"

Page 105: Stereotype & Prejudice

/ Monday, November 7, 2011 /
"the point is, people judge and classify from what appears in the surface. at first look, we could never be fair one to another. there will always be stereotype and prejudice. we are all those goods we choose to use. what we are carrying inside our brain is located in other dimension. it won’t ever be like huck overshadows tom and got his own story written, no. "

- "everything-in-between" , shint -


 ---
We can never escape ourselves from prejudice and stereotype. We can try to repress it, of course. But that "judging from appearance" will always filled the head, even if it's came in subtle and vague waves. I guess that's the consequences for being human. For the need to fit in. But to pay too much attention about what others might think about us because of our appearance only drag us onto the same level of banality, no? Well, i might be wrong. Nevertheless, what people think when they know books you've read, or music you're listening to, sometimes only make them judging you even more.

Still, after all that conclusion, thoughts, books and God knows the rest about inner beauty, world has this standard of outside beauty to follow, this…homogeneity. Wear this and you're awesome. Wear that and you get the sophisticated look. I’m not saying that I don't believe that most of the people (esp. urban people) still give priority more to inner beauty. My point is, stop denying outlook is one of the most important things that attract you to decide whether you want to know a person deeper or not.

Sounds pretty cynical? Hey, I'm a capricorn. I have rights to be cynic (sometimes), said one of the sites I've found via google. *justification, it is :p

Page 104: Current Addiction (part 7)

/ /

image courtesy: jirapah

 Good lyrics, good music, and err...good looking vocalist :p

My fave tracks so far:

"Alexander"

71 your soul wasting,
wondering will time let the blood fall out from these arms


swallowed and sad from hunger
weak
you stand still
keep watching me
your hands were not made to palm the stars


Often you tried to say to me you can't breathe
clutching me
your face pale the panic naild to your eyes
now is the hour from company you break free
start running
please don't stop
so these chains won't capture you


it's your time

"Summer"

Lower East folly
Hard to describe
Collective conscience
A drunken invite


Every bottle's
covered in lust
Premise for nonsense
And conquering hours


How young this summer


Everybody's
Covered in sun
A place of refuge
For wandering eyes


Bags of money
Wonder and awe
Blanket New York
With the guise of a mall


How young this summer


Everybody!
Water and wine
Arrest the senses
Left shackled and bound


How young this summer's
Wandering mind
Watching and smiling
Through the eyes of a child


How young this summer

watch Alexander video.
love it, by the way :)

Page 103: Modern Guilt and Prejudice - Current Addiction (part 6)

/ Saturday, November 5, 2011 /
 

 "Standing outside the glass on the sidewalk
These people talk about impossible things
And I'm falling out of the conversation
And I'm a pawn piece in a human shield"

---

Two guys, one of them look feminine; we used to think they’re gay couple.
A woman with sexy outfit accompanies a foreign guy; we used to think she’s a lady escort.
A young guy with older woman; we could easily say she’s a cougar, and he’s a gigolo. What bind them are lust and money, not love.
A couple consists of gorgeous young woman with an old man; then she’s his mistress or a gold digger.
A group of people with urban looks, having fun, drink alcohols; then it’s not a surprise if they’re hedonist and don’t care about social issues.

What if…

What if those guys just best friends?
What if that woman never has sex with that foreign guy?
What if that matures woman not a cougar and that young man isn’t gigolo?
What if that gorgeous woman simply in love with that old man and he’s not even rich?
What if those people simply have fun; yet they still care about social issues and the unfortunates?

I’ve heard conversations filled with those prejudices. Days ago I’ve started to think – because it has started to bugged me a little, maybe because of its frequency – can we ever separate ourselves from prejudice? Is this a part of urban society? Or it simply small portion of consequences of being human through discussing surrounding?

Maybe I just want to keep my naivete a bit, for not getting involved too much into the jibjab stuffed with prejudice. Yes, it sound silly, but I don't want to often feel the situation that been described in the song, “And I'm falling out of the conversation”.

Page 102: Plain old untrendy troubles and emotions*

/ Thursday, November 3, 2011 /
[image courtesy: Nujabes]
  
You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn't.
You get to decide what to worship.

Because here's something else that's true. In the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping.

Everybody worships.

The only choice we get is what to worship. And an outstanding reason for choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship - be it JC or Allah, be it Yahweh or the Wiccan mother-goddess or the Four Noble Truths or some infrangible set of ethical principles - is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things - if they are where you tap real meaning in life - then you will never have enough. Never feel you have enough. It's the truth. Worship your own body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly, and when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally plant you. On one level, we all know this stuff already - it's been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, bromides, epigrams, parables: the skeleton of every great story. The trick is keeping the truth up front in daily consciousness. Worship power - you will feel weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to keep the fear at bay. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart - you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out.


*Taken from the commencement speech the author gave to a graduating class at Kenyon College, Ohio. Read the full version of this insightful writing here

Page 101: Sometimes... (Part 10)

/ Wednesday, November 2, 2011 /


Sometimes 
you become marginalized because someone (something) tells that you are, 
and then later on 
you put yourself in that position and decide to do nothing about the situation. 

In the end, 
it comes to what kind of action that you will take to change your situation, 
marginalized or not.

- freedomphoria - 

---

Page 100: Brave Enough

/ /
I guess this will be my last post about you.

Because I really really really really really really want to get over you. I want to get rid of you from my head. Because this is so devastating and make me look so pathetic. You don't give a sh*t about me. You don’t even want to try to know more about me. That’s enough reasons. Maybe it's true what my friend wrote on her blog, "Be brave enough to break your own heart."
So I guess I’ll break my heart for you.
Now.





---

"Don't ask me how you're supposed to feel
You will never come close to how I feel"

-tame impala-

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