"
Breathe, keep breathing. Don't lose your nerve" -
Radiohead



Page 280: Sinta Tantra

/ Thursday, July 24, 2014 /
It's hard not to fall in love with Sinta Tantra's amazing works.







And that's all I've got to say.

All photos, courtesy of Sinta Tantra

Page 279: The Classic Problem

/ Tuesday, July 22, 2014 /
Once a drunk stranger asked me about a classic problem in relationship: why sometimes we like a person who doesn't like us back, and why can’t we just try to be with a person who likes us although we don’t really like that person?

He’s a friend of a friend, actually. But I can’t remember his name and all I know about him that he’s a friend of a friend and he’s drunk. So to me, he's still a stranger. I shrugged and replied “chemistry. And it’s inexplicable”. He looked a bit pissed and said that basically everyone wants to be loved – so when somebody offers you to take care of you, adores you, it’s like a free ticket to be happy rather than try to be with someone who doesn't see you the way you see that person, so you should just grab that ticket because it’s free anyway.

“Right? Right?!” he tried to get my approval. I wanted to just shrug and smile, my favorite gesture lately – but somehow his tired eyes made me nod. Someone might have rejected him that day so I didn't want to be another cold hearted bitch that rejects him when all he asked just a simple support.

Before I left, I told him that the shittiest part of liking or loving someone is that you won’t be able to protect yourself entirely from getting hurt; that this “someone”, whether s/he rejects you or not, could hurt you in every possible way you could think of, even beyond that, although this person probably never had any intention to. And it’s inevitable.

“So what should I do?” he asked.

“Move on..? Stop over analyzing..? Offer your ticket to someone else..? And maybe less questions start with why..?” I said.

He chuckled, raised his glass..and shrugged.


Page 278: Little Things, Little Moments

/ Monday, July 21, 2014 /
My good friend once said that the key to not lose your mind in Jakarta – this crazy city somehow has the power to drain your energy, trust me – is to appreciate the little moments, and to lower your expectation. Somehow I agreed, because those points are doable, although the second point is kinda hard if you’re an optimist or an avid dreamer.

But appreciating little moments isn't that hard. It’s a choice anyway. It’s a will. You choose your little adventure; people you want to spend time with, places to go, food to eat, jokes to share, etc. I had fun last weekend. I went to my parents’ house, spent a few hours with my nieces, took my mom to see her therapist and she looked motivated, celebrated my best friend’s birthday, eat not-so-healthy-but-damn-it’s-yummy breakfast (cold leftover birthday cake+wafer+mash 'em together=heaven!), and went to a friend's place for breakfasting with some old friends, and I chose to take pictures of pretty little things I found during the weekend that somehow make me smile every time I see them.

So how’s your weekend?




Page 277: My First DIY Tutorial

/ Friday, July 18, 2014 /
Wee-hee-heeee..just realized that my blog has been visited more than 100,000 times! I know it doesn’t mean that 100,000 people have come to my blog and read every random thing that I posted, haha, but according to Flag Counter, people from 156 countries have visited my site, so I’m happy for it. Thank you friends and strangers!

Anyway, a few weeks ago my boss gave me 2 rolls of masking tape. Or washi tape. Actually I still can’t tell the difference between just masking tape with nice color and washi tape. Haha. (I have a regular masking tape, it’s not as pretty as tapes from my boss, but when I touch it, the surface feels like washi tape too). But let’s call it washi anyway so I’ll look like a real crafter. :D

And then on one lazy Sunday, I had this idea to decorate my so-affordable-yet-cute lamp that I bought from IKEA with those washi tapes. SGD $5 people! God bless you, dear IKEA! Actually I liked the simplicity of it. It’s all white with scandinavian design. I don’t really like things with patterns – unless the pattern is really pretty, still I prefer stuff with plain nice color. The best thing of decorating stuff with masking/ washi tape is that it’s repositionable and removable for when you get tired of it.

Since it’s the first DIY tutorial I made, pardon me if the pictures are kind of shitty.

Ok, so you need:
1. Tapes
2. Lamp shade (obviously). Plain single colored one.
3. Scissors
4. Cutter

First, decide what kind of pattern you want. You don’t have to draw it, just imagine and predict and measure it a little. I didn’t draw or measure. Haha. Remember, washi tape is removable. I decided to go with simple chevron(ish) pattern. If you want to have like complex pattern, then you need ruler and pencil.
Start with the long lines first.


Use cutter to trim off the edges for top of the shade. You don’t have to do this for the bottom part, just drag the tape until it passes through the bottom edge of the shade, and stick it on the inner surface.


Move to the next round. This part is a bit tricky, but it’s still pretty easy. Make two lines from tape, stick the edges together, but don’t stick them to the surface of the shade. After you get the triangle shape,

Page 276: Sometimes (Part 28)

/ /
Sometimes,
it’s better to be a little bit emotionally numb, or just be like “oh..hmm..yeah..whatever” (followed by a little shrug and smile) rather than over-thinking-and-analyzing every stimulus that comes to you. Except for good jokes..or amiability..or kindness.. You can't resist them. You simply just can't. You'll respond to them, although sometimes, maybe not enthusiastically.

Maybe it's something that will happen to you after facing several exhausting occurrences that can drain your energy. The kind of chaos makes you feel like you need a loooong rest. You tend to take it easy and just give less of a shit for almost everything that need you to be emotionally attached or expressive.

ATSS.
The after-the-storm syndrome.
(Yeah i made that up. There's no such thing called ATSM)
Hmm..yeah..whatever


Page 275: Another Note About Rape and Victim Blaming

/ Wednesday, July 9, 2014 /
It was my first visit to that building when law should punish the guilty ones and defend those who have been wronged. It was my first attempt to attend a court, to support a person I’ve never met but breaks my heart with her story. She’s a gang rape victim (read the full story here). And just like any victims, she wants justice. Although it doesn’t take a genius to see that justice can’t cure the wounds that they felt because of the rape. The pains linger; in their bodies, their mind, and their souls.

I don’t know about other countries (still doing some research), but in my country, Indonesia, the system is just..bad. Not only that we still use old law with maximum of (only) seven years' criminal imprisonment for perpetrators (if you ask me, I think we should consider to cut their dicks off), but the process to bring the case to the court is long and exhausting and torturing the victim.

I can’t imagine how it feels to be in the same room with people; who have violated your rights, who tainted your body – your sacred place, who ruined your future and dreams, who will be the master of your nightmare. I can’t imagine how it feels to see a place where all bad memories and pains collide when someone forced you and used your body to please the evil urge inside their filthy minds.

And victim blaming! Ah! That fucking monster that still punishes all victims and survivor who have broken already! I wrote about victim blaming two years ago. It’s obnoxious how society could prolong a stupid culture like that. Blame the outfit, blame the situation, blame the victim, but never the system, and just ignore the importance of educate people to punish the perpetrators.

Gah! Wish I could do something other than writing this.
I’m sad. And jaded.

image courtesy: http://rhrealitycheck.org/article/2012/10/26/as-victim-and-survivor-rape-i-am-appalled-and-disgusted/



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