"
Breathe, keep breathing. Don't lose your nerve" -
Radiohead



Page 304: Sometimes (part 32)

/ Sunday, November 29, 2015 /
Hope will always be this elusive captivating vortex for her
– some kind of gate that can drag anyone to an enigmatic realm where reality can kill dreams in a heartbeat and serves them on a plate to feed each damaged starving soul.

She weaves the safety net to keep her away from it, even from its gleam.
She has preserved memories in a jar where she can taste a few drops of mirth when she needs it 
– the timidity that helps her to survive.

Sometimes, she closes her eyes as her heart whispers to an image of him, 
“You will always be a ghost flickering behind my eyelids when I sleep*. 
You're the myth I chose to keep.”

*from a prose written by Kriz of jktxnyc

Page 303: The Hourglass

/ Thursday, November 5, 2015 /
I can see the fear in her eyes
and the pain every time a new tear glided on her cheek,
the rage when she was describing the incident
and the shame when she was blaming herself for horrible thing that happened to her.

I kept telling her over and over that it’s not her fault. The one who must be blamed is her rapist. I hugged her and said that is going to be okay – the mother of all white lies, the thing that I can’t actually promise. Told her that there are still good people who are willing to help her and care about her. That she needs to keep filling the hourglass with the spirit to continue her life and fight for her future. That it’s not the end.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She said she’s afraid that the hourglass couldn’t contain all rage and despair and agony she has, and it will break.
It will break eventually.


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