"
Breathe, keep breathing. Don't lose your nerve" -
Radiohead



Page 71: Maybe

/ Tuesday, June 28, 2011 /
Maybe it’s the way you wrote about your family and somehow I can see that you love them so much.
Maybe it’s the way you look at me at that rainy night. The night when I realized that the feeling for you was more than a crush, and I felt so stupid and anxious.
Maybe it’s the way you spontaneously dancing and jumping that night, when you heard the song from your favorite musicians.


Maybe it’s because you gave comment about my blackberry password that night; you thought it’s too long.
Maybe it’s the way you suddenly said some unnecessary details from what I’ve told you, and you’re started to act as if you’re afraid I would mistook it as some “signal” – because you remember some of my stories.
Maybe it’s because that awkward moment in that DVD store.
Maybe it’s because I found you curled up in fetal position that morning, right before you wake up.
Maybe it’s because your unimportant DM.
Maybe it’s because you wear those shoes.
Maybe that’s why it’s hard to get over you.


But…
Maybe you’re just being nice.
Maybe you see me as "just a friend".
Maybe all of those things I’ve wrote above, mean nothing to you.
Maybe I should stop. I should learn again how to let go and say "au revoir". I should learn not to waiting this long.


Because it starting to cause pain…





***

Got nothing new
Telling me, telling you
And the sky which was clear
It is no longer here

Don't know how
But that
Something extra delicious
Something sweet but nutritious
Something good
But I guess that we blew it
I mean I guess that we knew it
I mean I guess that we did

 (Oren Lavie - A Quarter Past Wonderful)
 

Page 70: Sometimes... (part 7)

/ Monday, June 27, 2011 /
Sometimes...
What we need is not the right time,
or chance,

but the courage...
image courtesy: angelreich - Waiting


***
yeah, courage is all i need. and all you need, too, my dear nothing.

Page 69: Let’s Celebrate The Thought of Education For All.

/ /
Once, a friend named Galuh posted a simple yet really nice writing about school in her blog:

How Do You Define School?

Once i heard someone said, "I don’tt need school. School's sucks.  Etc".
As for me, i didn’t go to school in order to please my parent.
I do love school. and i think school is more than just book, education and stuff.
It’s about attitude, ethic, and commitment.

If you think that school is boring,you are clearly can't see what's beneath.
How do you manage yourself facing the sucky lecturer?
How do you deal with rough schedule while you were having so much fun making money?
How do you find yourself working on assignment or thesis calmly while deadline is tight on?
How do you straighten up your priorities?How do you arrange a relationship with your school mate, how do you socialize?
How do you set yourself learning in group of friends and can you be a leader?
It is not easy. Yet i find its challenging.

You being smart is useless when you don’t have that kind atttitude.
Because that’s the system in life, like it or not you gotta deal with it.
School raises you to be that kind of person. School gave you busy-sucky lecturer, lots of assignment, bad grade when you have tried your best and kick your ass when you start to not obey their rules. I know its sucks. But honey.. so does life.

I’m feeling lucky that my dad supported me until i finish my postgrad.
Tough, I’m envy people who have the opportunity to go abroad for education.
Notice that our education system here in Indonesia is totally sucks.But when you can go through the suckiest, then you can go for anything, right?

So here i am, live with it. Try my best to finish my postgraduate.
Is not somehow always about the title or how are you gonna get a perfect job after.
It’s about how you finish something that you've started... perfectly.
So if you're one of those students that keeps on muttering all time saying,
"School sucks!" Well.. dont..

Believe me.. it’s a luxury.

---

When I read it, all I can say was “I couldn't agree more”. And that punch line, that school is a luxury, is true.  Especially if you know how expensive schools are, nowadays. How some kids couldn’t go to school because of their parent’s financial problem, or worse,

Page 68: Just A Repost

/ Wednesday, June 22, 2011 /

You're just a sculpture that still moves in the museum of my mind. 
So keep walking. 
Art shouldn't stop for anyone.
-iwrotethisforyou-

***

love the picture and the words :)

Page 67: Sometimes... * (part 6)

/ Monday, June 20, 2011 /
Sometimes,
Revenge is the other name for justice.

Some people must play God on the gray area.
Some wept and mourn.
Some took action in the name of human rights.
While others, can only kept their sympathy and expressed their condolences, somewhere, inside their chest...



***

*Remembering Ruyati. Whatever your reason were, I hope you rest in peace now...

Page 66: This Is Not a Hate Mail

/ Sunday, June 19, 2011 /
Do you know how much you’ve hurt me with all the lies that spattered from your mouth? What’s the truth about that girl? The one who made you run to me each time you broke up with her, in the past. That girl, the one you called “drama queen” and “a liar”. The one who also had hear your lies from the phone each time you’re with me and told her that you’re at home, or somewhere else, except with me. I’ve lost everything I’ve ever felt for you. Now I’m getting to lose my respect and trust too. Don’t worry; I’m still going to keep the secrets you had asked me too, every single of it. She won’t hear from me about our dinner, every message, or everything. Stop being paranoid with your “gentle reminder” over and over again. Stop telling me something as if I want to ruin your relationship with our “secret” as a cheesy strategy. Calm down, dude… I don’t want you anymore...

:)



Page 65: Happiness Trigger #4 – Hufflepuff

/ /
One of the simple-but-sweet things I’ve ever heard was when two good friends of mine – Adit and Veve – told me, that if we study in Hogwarts, I would be in Hufflepuff. Yes, Hufflepuff! I know for those who read Harry Potter or watch the movie, this house isn’t as popular as Gryffindor or Slytherin. But I’m happy to know that both of them thought that I have qualities that fit with Hufflepuff among other houses.

FYI, Hufflepuff’s students are chosen because of their kindness, hard work, tolerance, loyalty, and fair play. In the book, they’d been describe as people who put interest in Herbology and other comforting task and magic, humble, modest and love peace. Yep, I was happy to found out that my friends saw those qualities in me. :)

Results from them for each who gathered with us that night:
Adit: Hufflepuff
Veve: Hufflepuff
Vina: Ravenclaw. (veve told her because she values intelligence and wit. And kinda snob. Ahaha. And Vina felt kinda shocked when she heard the word “snob”. No, my dear Vina, I personally think you’re one of the coolest and nicest Ravenclaw-er. Hehe)
Dinda: Gryffindor.
Zaky: Hufflepuff.

Page 64: Happiness Trigger #3: Radiohead

/ /
So here’s the problem when you’re listening to a band that formed when you’re still a toddler; when you’re at age when you can afford their ticket concert, they’ll be quite old. Old enough to make you afraid soon they’ll decided to retired or they’ll be too lazy to rock the stage. If it’s not the major issue, let’s say, that band gets bigger and better, the price of their concert ticket makes your jaw dropped. Or, if your saving’s enough to buy their ticket, they put another standard. Rumors said they won’t come to your country unless they know that your people concern about, and having contribution for; environmental issues, fair trade, or human rights.

With Radiohead and me, all of those problems above, mixed. I was the kid who’d come to my cousin’s room each noon to listened to Creep and stare at television when its video been played. I am that kid. They’re the band; 5 saints who created great music with brilliant lyrics. Yes, I admit I put them way way aside when those pretty boys from Boyzone, Backstreet Boys, 911, Moffats, Nsync, Five – you name it -  made me scream like a wacko. Hehe.

I’m not their fan at that time.

Not until idioteque. Not until Kid A.

Since then, they’re my greatest harborage. I’m aware that I’m not their biggest fan on earth, not even in this country.  But for me, they’re the greatest band on earth. The greatest! I love this band. And I hope one day I’ll have that luck to watch them live in concert. I’ve no doubt that I’ll cry like a baby during the show. I’ll have that shiver, cold palms, and heart that beats like an earthquake… 

Okay, this is going to be random:
-    Always on my playlist since the first time I heard these songs: “Let Down”, “Paranoid Android” and “Fog”.
-    I think Kid A was their best album so far, although my favorite’s still OK Computer (what can I say? It has “Let Down”, “Paranoid Android”, “No Surprises”, and “Karma Police” in it). Why Kid A was their best? Well, because it’s the album where they’d made such a brave move and brilliant concept. It’s synthesized, claustrophobic, alternately lush and abrasive, with cryptic lyrics. It’s like they didn’t give a shit what other people would say, or think, at that time. Their music changed quite drastically compared with previous album, OK Computer.
-    I used to think that Jonny Greenwood was half alien, just like Bjork. He doesn’t look older and getting sexier. :p
-    If I can choose which song to be play at my interment, that would be “Pyramid Song”
-    My wedding song: You.
“You are the sun and moon and stars are you. And I could never run away from you”
:)
-    Favorite video: Street Spirit (Fade Out)
-    Bought their latest album including vinyl although I don’t have the player. Yeah, I know it sounds silly. Hahahaha.
-    Really love the first shirt I have with their faces on it. Although my sister caused so much damage, and it looks so damn ugly with holes and dirt after she borrowed it.
-    Easily attract to a guy who also loves their music. Once, a guy tried to approach me, and when he said not so good thing about Radiohead, I decided not to let whatever kind of relationship he tried to build with me, happen. Yeah, I know it sounds silly too x)


Oh, how I love them :)

Page 63: The Cost of War

/ Friday, June 17, 2011 /
"Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime."
Ernest Hemingway

For me, the real winners in every war are sorrow, pain, and despair. Not people. Each side that fights at the war is losing; soldiers in the battle field are forcing themselves to get rid of their compassion, children are losing their parents (sometimes, even their own life).

No, I don’t understand how could someone called torturing, killing people, killing babies, burning villages, and bombing, as victory.
I don't.
And i don't want to.

And my heart broke at War Remnants Museum and The Killing Fields. I was crying,

Page 62: A Glass I Hope Will Never Shatter

/ Wednesday, June 15, 2011 /
I’ve seen a lot of things in your big-cat-like eyes:

I’ve seen tears were streaming down, sometimes for unimportant and silly reasons, sometimes for rueful stories in the past.

I’ve seen sadness, anger and disappointment when your heart torn apart.

I’ve seen hope and dreams when we’re sitting and talking about a lot of things near our college, where we can see graveyard and “Jembatan Cincin”.

I’ve seen happiness when you’re sincerely laughing. When you finally won the item you’ve always wanted on some bargaining. When you succeeded to held surprise party for my birthday. When you hear good things happen to people you love. Or when you finally found the right man and took a vow to be with him as his wife.












Congratulations, my dearest Diade Riva. If things get rough, I want you to play and listen to "If You Fall" by Azure Ray…

Let's talk and we'll fill the air with imagery that lasts forever
So this is love 
Yeah that's a lovely thought
You have to care for it to keep it together
If you fall will you get up
You're stuck in a dream will you wake up
And if you fell in love will you hold on to it
And if it's cold will you stay warm
You drift too far will you swim towards the shore
And if you fell in love will you hold on to it
Lets just sing and we'll fill the air with melodies that blend together
You speak so sweet with words so delicate
A glass i hope will never shatter
If you fall will you get up
You're stuck in a dream will you wake up
And if you fell in love will you hold on to it
And if it's cold will you stay warm
You drift too far will you swim towards the shore
And if you fell in love will you hold on to it

Be good. Be happy…
:)

Page 61: Voicing The Voiceless

/ Tuesday, June 14, 2011 /

"I am all the days
That you choose to ignore

//

I only stick with you
Because there are no others"
 
***
I think one of the great things about songs is when it can represent your feeling when you’re too shy or confuse to tell it to someone.  Even at the end, you may not have the courage to send that song or tell that person that its lyrics reminds you of him/her, or tell people that the song describe your condition precisely, at least when you hear that song, you know you’re not alone. You know that somehow, the musician can catch the same vibe, flare, hope, dream, et-ce-te-ra-in-your-chest, and sing your story. You know that somehow,  they also voicing the voiceless: your heartbeat.

Page 60: Sudden Death

/ Thursday, June 9, 2011 /
Every sudden death reminds us that what is not meant to be,
it's not meant to be.

Remind us;
that no matter how hard we tried, not all things belong to us.

Remind us;
that kids could be like a porcelain.  Look solid, but fragile. Spattering when they hit the ground. That sometimes, they tend to think they should responsible for some losses. And they feel guilty for some pains their beloved ones felt.

Remind us;
that human's heart has a great yet weird ability to love. That someone could love the unborn and the anonymous.

And somehow,
every death
also
remind us
about

Life

image courtesy: treehugger.com

---

*remembering my sister’s miscarriage few days ago. Rest in peace, little angel…

Page 59: Blue Sky, Blue Smile

/ Friday, June 3, 2011 /
Black clouds in battleships
Are covering the sky
The sky a purple cry
The philharmonic sigh

The sky would disappear
The sky would disappear
You know it's somewhere near
Today you wouldn't share the sky
Is gone

Goodbye
Blue sky
You made me happy for a while

...

Don't keep me waiting
My blue sky
Goodbye

(Oren Lavie - Blue Smile)
 






***
 
Maybe you’re my blue sky. Possessed a beauty in simplicity and changing tone as weather and time. Stays above my head every day; some kind of beauty that hard to own. Therefore, perhaps, I should say goodbye. 

Labels

Free counters!

Contact Form

Name

Email *

Message *

 
Copyright © 2010 stickybunbook, All rights reserved
Design by DZignine. Powered by Blogger