"
Breathe, keep breathing. Don't lose your nerve" -
Radiohead



Page 120: “Alexander” and 2011

/ Thursday, December 29, 2011 /
"Alexander" is a sad story. Some kind of contemplative and locupletative trigger. Told me to let a lot of things go, because “your hands were not made to palm the stars.” True. In reality those stars were meant for my sight only; visual pleasures only. I should keep some real things real, and some dreams only live in a cozy alcove with my blue unicorn.

“Start running, please don't stop,” he said. So those chains won't capture me.
Good reason. I ran. And I got tired. And then I remembered that my hands were not made to palm the stars. Perhaps my feet were not made to run forever. So I stopped because maybe those chains already got tired too and not long enough to chase me. I made it. I was fast enough to beat them, or maybe because I’m not 71. Not yet.


“Alexander” reminds me of my parents. Reminds me of a man I once loved who already passed away. Reminds me to keep living life before I can't breathe, clutching someone, and my face turn to pale, and the panic nailed to my eyes.

“Alexander” was on my playlist,
heavy rotation,
sometimes the only one in the list,
two months before the year’s end.
2011.

2011…
I ran, I had a sad story, I got tired, I gave up on some things and some people, I failed. But I’ve got enlightened on some issues also. Found more silver linings to grip. 2011 is Alexander. *by the way, I’ve met the guy who wrote and sing it, in person. Nice coincidence, eh? :)

image courtesy: Ken Jenie
2011 stuffed with sucks things:
1.    Broken hearted (again). But I had moved on. A friend told me that the guy, the one I used to call “my dear nothing”, dating a girl now. I won’t say I’m happy for him. Because I’m not, for this time. But I’m happy because that news wasn’t making me feel like a wrecking ball. I keep rolling. I’m happy for me. :)
2.    Failed on some test. Got to learn harder.
3.    Lost my wallet with some money in it.
4.    Reshuffled friendship. But I believe that everyone who was in my journey is meant to be in it, but not everyone is meant to stay there. Fully aware of that. That’s just the way it is.

2011 also filled with good things:
1.    Had a fun and fantastic trip to Vietnam and Cambodia with my best friends. Still working on to write about the journey. Lame travel writer, I am. Haha.
2.    Get a new job that hopefully can gratify my interest in education. Thank God I have nice and lunatic colleagues in this new place. Haha.



3.    Met one of my favorite authors: Jostein Gaarder. Oh, for you who want to get the copy of his lecture material about human and environment could leave a message, and then I’ll send it (hopefully) right away.


4.    Fixed my broken heart.
5.    Finishing two independent projects.

May next year bring us more goodness. And no doomsday just like the one been described in Mayan prophecy! :))

Page 119: S07E08 Hope

/ Saturday, December 24, 2011 /
Just watched one of my favorite TV series, Criminal Minds, and in the episode “Hope” – which has a sick character as unsub, Bill - appeared this nice quote from American mythologist, writer and lecturer, Joseph Campbell,
"Find a place inside where there's joy, 
and the joy will burn out the pain."



Then I searched again for his quotes and I found some. These are my favorites:
 
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.”
 
“I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.”

“Life is without meaning. 
You bring the meaning to it. 
The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. 
Being alive is the meaning.”

Those words are soothing and calming if you let them make you feel that way. Keep living life, people! :)

Page 118: Textbook*

/ Friday, December 23, 2011 /

Helen: You've got to make plans
Poppy: A five-year plan? Like Stalin? (laughing)
Helen: You’ve got to take life seriously. You can’t get drunk every night, partying, however much fun it is. I just want you to be happy, that’s all
Poppy: I’m not drunk all night.  I am happy
Helen: I don’t think you are

That's one of my favorite conversations from Happy Go Lucky. When Poppy (Sally Hawkins) visited her younger sister, Helen who's married and pregnant at that time. It reminds me of some people around me who accidentally - or on purpose - act like Helen. Those people regularly said that at my age, I supposed to start thinking about my life. In a serious way.

They said it’s time for me start thinking about actions need to be taken for long-term effects. They said it's time for me to stop or reduce the frequency of coming to concert. They said “don’t be such hedonists” (hahaha. This one is funny!). They said that I must get married soon and becoming a mother (well, still looking for my future husband). They told me not to look for scholarships for master degree; women are destined to serves husband anyway. They said - and obtrude - …oh too many. Sometimes I replied by joking, sometimes seriously, but sometimes just smiling because it’s a bit exhausting talking with people who consider their opinions are unbeatable.

It feels funny. Because - as far as i can remember - I never criticized the way they live their lives. I only give advice when they ask.

I mean, I think about my life. I saved up some money. I want to get married and have kid(s). But that does not mean that I must follow their words because they think, that's the way it is. I think as long as the person does not feel the loss through life like that, or harm no one, we should let them be. When I told them that every person has their own way of looking at and living life, they tried to convince me that human life is like a textbook. There are activities and phase for every age. See? They’re so look like Helen or what? Haha.

But then again I remember what Poppy said after Helen try to convince her that Poppy is not happy. Poppy said, “I love my life. Yeah, it can be tough at times. That’s part of it, isn’t it? I’ve got amazing friends, I love my freedom. I’m a lucky lady. I know that.”






Well, I think one of the most important things is know what you've got and what you want. And live with it... Because human are so much more than a textbook. And if “Helens” can’t deal with it, so be it, it’s their problem anyway. :D

---

*old post, 2 years ago. Re-post it to convince a friend - or anyone - that your happiness doesn't depend on others' statement(s) or approval. It's in you. Cheers!

Page 117: For No Particular Reason

/ Monday, December 19, 2011 /

For no particular reason, i love...

1) EEYORE the gloomy donkey


"It's bad enough being miserable,
but it is even worse when everyone else claims to be miserable too"

- EEYORE -

and

2) KENNY MCCORMICK the "getting-killed-in-some-weird-or-grotesque-way" boy



:D

Page 116: Happines Trigger #9 - 10

/ Friday, December 9, 2011 /
#9
watching the sun goes down in my office after working



#10
knowing that a good friend dealing with her broken heart. it's good to know when your words can make someone feel better, eh?


Page 115: Design Thinking for Educators

/ Saturday, December 3, 2011 /



Every day, the education system in every school involves design process, from daily schedules to feedback systems, so it’s safe to say that teachers are designers, but all this time people never realize this, even the teachers themselves. An independent school in New York City called Riverdale Country School has teamed up with IDEO, an award-winning global design firm, to bring up the attention to this matter and to help the teachers on developing their own potential and embrace the opportunities to design a better education system. With a program called Design Thinking, Riverdale Country School and the designers of IDEO provide the right tool for teachers to face the complex challenges of education, to experiment with design process on education, and most importantly to encourage them to believe in themselves as designers of education. Visit Design Thinking’s website here to learn more about the program.


Words: Karla Sharin // Whiteboard Journal

---

This program reminds me of  John Steinbeck quotes about teacher:
I have come to believe that a great teacher is a great artist and that there are as few as there are any other great artists. Teaching might even be the greatest of the arts since the medium is the human mind and spirit. 
Cheers! :)

Page 114: Happines Trigger #5 - 8

/ Friday, December 2, 2011 /
#5
Listening to Depeche Mode - Only When I Lose Myself. I don't know why, but it feels pretty good to find myself still in love with this song after listening to it for like...thousand times. Maybe more.

"I feel hypnotized, I feel paralized
I have found heaven
There's a thousand reasons
Why I shouldn't spend my time with you
For every reason not to be here I can think of two"



#6
Having nice and fun housemates. Especially her


#7
Munching watermelon in the middle of the night. Well, actually, any time will do. Really looooooveeeeeee this fruit.

image from here

#8
A friend like my contribution on her project. And a friend told me she likes pictures I've took and my writings.

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