"
Breathe, keep breathing. Don't lose your nerve" -
Radiohead



Page 330: New Things and Acceptance

/ Thursday, January 12, 2017 /
00:00 - the first day of 2017. I heard people cheered. I saw fireworks.
2017 has started. The year of acceptance has started.

I decided that it should be the year of acceptance. It’s actually my friend’s ritual, Dinda, to decide a theme before entering a new year. I used to answer frivolously when she asks, but I decided to commit to it this time. Last year was a mess. A pretty huge one. Too many disappointments, sadness, and anger. Yes, I admit that it still had beautiful moments, but I can’t deny that it dragged me to some place where it’s hard for me to keep pieces of tranquility.

Acceptance, because I want to remind myself to be braver on facing everything. Be resilient. I started the first month of 2017 with new things too. Moved to a new tiny nest. And of course, visited a new place on my birthday, keeping the ritual of the birthday trip.

I was planning to visit Danau tujuh in Jambi, but I used the money for something else. Something more important. But I’m planning to have another birthday trip in April or May, maybe not to Danau Tujuh, but we’ll see.

Sooo..on the 5th of January..I went to Mangrove forest (forest..? hmm..More like a tourist park, actually) in North Jakarta. Faar north. It’s called Wisata Alam Hutan Mangrove Pantai Indah Kapuk. I went there with my friend Shila. It’s pretty easy to get there. We ordered uber and we got to the entrance an hour later.




We were pretty surprised that it’s actually kind of crowded. So many teenagers! We realized that although it was Thursday, it’s still NY holiday anyway. The ticket price was cheap, IDR25K per person. I had lunch first, and then we explored the place. This place had many instagramable spots and visitors who want to explore the river can rent the boat. I heard that
you can also stay at their hotel, but there was no guest staying when I was there. Or so I assumed. 



Overall, it was a fun trip. Shila was excited to take pictures of me and even acted as if she’s a vlogger. Haha. The place was quite decent, actually, if only some idiots threw trash in the trash can. Seriously people, how hard it is to wait until you find a trash can?!




Anyway, thank you lovely people for the heartwarming birthday wishes and gifts! My life isn’t perfect but I'm still grateful to be able to breathe, eat, walk, laugh and be silly. 

Gift from Dinda and Lia, also pictures taken when we had some sorta "slumber party" at my place

gift from my buddy, ipeh

(The next sentences would be something that I have posted as a caption of one of my photos on instagram, but I liked ‘em so I’m gonna put ‘em here too.)
Once someone told me that people "have a fundamental set of characteristics that are really not changeable." As much as I tried to counter it at the first place, in the end I agreed, sort of. Sort of, because I still believe that people do change. Experience changes people. Moments change people. Hope and expectations change people. Failures change people. Not much, or all of a sudden, but they do.

Sort of, because there are parts of us that stay the same. At least that's what I thought when I was wandering and "contemplating" about things in me that stay the same during my birthday trip. I'm still that introvert who can talk a lot and engage with people in one day but too exhausted the next day and chooses to stay in my nest and indulges my aloofness. Still a girl who often tries to rationalize decisions when they're actually triggered by inexplicable feelings and just because "it feels right" (sometimes I wish I'm not an INTP). Still a girl who likes to skygazing at night and wishes a huge UFO would appear. Still that kinda walking contradiction who likes to make fun of chick flicks but sometimes is a hopeless romantic who wishes her love life would be like one of those chicks'. Ha.

But I changed too. For better, I think. Well I hope. And I hope this year I'll keep growing (not physically, we know I can't get any taller than I am right now). Less pessimistic, less bitter, have more nonfiction books to read, kinder, and keep nurturing humility in me. And living, not just surviving.

And I hope you are too. I hope you're too, readers and strangers. :)

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