"
Breathe, keep breathing. Don't lose your nerve" -
Radiohead



Page 358: Sometimes (part 35)

/ Tuesday, May 23, 2017 /

It's amazing how some stranger can articulate your feeling, eloquently.

Page 357: On Science Fiction

/ Saturday, May 20, 2017 /
Once, my cousin told me why she never liked SciFi movies: because it’s so far from reality. She can’t enjoy Star Wars, she thought Matrix was a “so-so”, and she rolled her eyes when I told her how good District 9 was.

But I understood her reason, because she’s right. Yes, it’s far from reality, hasn’t happened, or may never happen. But that’s the most enticing part of SciFi, IMHO. To see something different and wonderful that comes from ideas and imagination. It feels good to be an escapist once in a while, right? Haha. It was my dad who’s “responsible” for my fondness for this genre and made me a nerd. I still remember when I was a kid, he used to wake me up in the middle of the night to watch The X-Files and other alien movies. And then it became our thing, not just to watch SciFi series or movies, but also talk about UFO sightings and the idea of other entities from other planets.

Anyway, I watched Alien: Covenant a few days ago. And spoiler alert: it was goooood! I think it takes the franchise to the next level, because this part of the prequel series not only tells about the history of xenomorph (and brought it back to the screen. Yass!), but also intrigues questions about creation and existence. And what I love most about this franchise is that the lead characters that slayed those creatures were women! I find it empowering.

image courtesy: here
Since we’re talking about SciFi movies, I’m going to share a list of my favorite ones (as usual, I’m gonna pretend that I have many regular visitors. Ha). And no, I didn’t rank them.

Paul
A comedy about obnoxious alien named Paul who tried to find a way back to his planet. If you love Simon Pegg, you should watch this. Not a fan of SciFi? Well, I’m gonna say, watch it anyway. To quote Paul, “sometimes, you just gotta roll the dice”

LIFE
It’s intense and there are interesting lines about the joy of running away from earth, reality, and crazy things that people do to each other.

Arrival
This one is also on a list I watched more than one time and I wouldn’t mind to watch it again. Maybe because of the opening and ending scenes. And oh that beautiful song! This movie isn’t just about the encounter with some alien race, but also about connections, loneliness,

Page 356: The Reason Why

/ Wednesday, May 10, 2017 /
And that morning, you held her tight, kept telling her that it’s okay. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. She sobbed, she peed herself. Her diaper was drenched. She said she couldn’t hold it and it’s just happened when she was still asleep. “I know. I know. It’s okay, it’s okay. I’ll clean it. Let’s take a shower and change your diaper,” you said.

And as you watched her eating her breakfast, you realized that she has changed. Some part of you knew before that, but other part refused to believe that she has changed that much. That morning, it was the first morning you accepted the fact that the strong independent woman who raised you has been stressed out for years because of her illness and it has changed her. That woman who used to be so frikkin excellent at math, who was like a walking calculator has lost her ability to count that fast. That the woman who used to have remarkable memory, has changed into someone who forgot names and details.

You remembered the fights you had with her when you’re a teenager. You’ve always been the rebellious one, the one who broke her rules. You used to argue a lot with her, and now, she looks like she has no will to share stories and her thoughts. You missed arguing with her. You missed talking about books you just read. You know that although you and her had so many different ways of seeing things, she was the one who introduced you to the joy of reading books.

And you went to the other room because you didn’t want her to see your tears. Because you remembered that once, when everything was still alright, she said that although you’re one of the toughest “enemies” she's ever had, you’re also the evidence that she has raised a tough woman who can take care of herself and can stand up for what she believes in.

You wiped the tears from your cheeks and left the room. You looked cheerful when you told her about your dream last night, the ritual you two always enjoy. And she analyzed it using her knowledge she got from Primbon. And you two laughed. You looked cheerful. You tried. Although you can tell from her face that she knew you just cried. But you tried to look cheerful anyway. Because you wanted her to see that you are tough, and she made you that way. She’s the reason why. The reason why.


Page 355: On Amazing Quirky Brutally Honest People

/ Tuesday, May 9, 2017 /
Look, life isn’t always nice to me, but I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by amazing quirky brutally honest people who make this life more colorful and bearable. Like this one.


She’s one of the toughest bitches I know. We met more than a decade ago. And o boy, I forgot how many times she laughed at my problems. Ha. But she has this ability to make me laugh at my problems as well. She was there when I was at my lowest. She didn’t judge me when I did stupid things. We had fights, we argued, but I know she’ll be there when I need her help or support. Vice versa.

She’ll stay with people as long as they still want her in their life. The same value I hold tightly.

She’s a drama queen who told me to be brave to break my own heart, but also the one who pulled me back to reality and be whole again when everything has been said and done.

There’s a nice..enlightenment..sorta..after I talked to her the last time. About how I felt for this person. Maybe I did fall, maybe I didn’t. Maybe I just wanted a story after not having one for so long. But the enlightenment was..it doesn’t really matter anyway right now. What’s done is done. Another lesson, another story, another series of bitter sweet fleeting moments. Life goes on and so do we. 

I’m glad I have her and other amazing quirky brutally honest friends in my life. And to you, who read this, I hope you have this kinda people in your life too. I really do. :)

Page 354: Sometimes (part 34)

/ Monday, May 8, 2017 /
Attended a wedding a few days ago. And as I predicted, people asked why I’m still single. I shrugged, as usual, and put a chagrined smile. I predicted too, that some of them would say that it’s because I have a good job. Too good for women. It makes me look too independent. Men would feel intimidated. And as usual, I replied “oh what a win-win solution then! Because I don’t want to be with a guy who feels intimidated by my achievements either. He can have his own thing. I can have mine.”

More often than not, I smile afterward. But that time I was too tired. Physically. Emotionally. So I let them see my resting bitch face. I let them see I was being serious with my statement. That every cell in my body was annoyed. Annoyed with this society that considers small talk like that is acceptable. That considers men have to be superior. That considers women as tools to feed their ego.

Sometimes, the way they worship some fallacy exhausts me.


 
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