Breathe, keep breathing. Don't lose your nerve" -

Page 8: Just… Spill It Out

/ Monday, December 6, 2010 /
If 100% is for robot and 97% for Sheldon Cooper, then 70% is for me. 70% emotionally-insensitive. Actually it’s a rough guessing. But I think “70” is pretty safe level to tell that I’m bad at reading people’s feelings, but not that bad. Of course I can tell that someone is grieving when they’re crying out loud or sobbing. But I can’t tell by their body language or micro expressions. For example, once, I didn’t know if my close friend been mad at me for almost two weeks. Yes. Two weeks. After my other friend explained to me those signs; she didn’t replied when I asked her something (if she did, she wasn’t look at my face at all), she didn’t say hi to me like she used to, and she leaves whenever I came in to the same room – then I realized the big scheme. That “Oooh.. Now I get it...” moment finally reach me! Hahaha.

Or, when there’s one guy who said he like me and kind of ask me to become his girlfriend, but I thought he’s joking. After he explained to me about this and that with awkward gesture, I still laugh. I softly slap his head and leave him while saying that was a good joke. But it wasn’t my fault. Not completely. I mean, he’s my friend and we used to pretend we were couple. (Again) after the other friend told me that he actually means it, I started to believe that he wasn’t prank me. But hey, he didn’t say anything about it after that day, so I’ve change my mind again and keep the thought that maybe he didn’t really want me to become his girlfriend. Stupid me. Stupid him. Stupid good ol’ day. :D

I mean, if you have something to say to me, just say it. Say it clearly. Dude, I’m not a psychic. Nor Professor Xavier or Jane Grey who can read your mind. I think that’s why I like ‘Lie to Me’ TV series. Because it teaches me and give a quick tips how to read people’s emotion.  Well, it’s not always correct. *Oh how I wish I were Dr. Lightman.

But this trait becomes some kind of a nice shield, i think. I don’t have to think about what people think for every action I’ve made, especially if that person is annoying. I can’t imagine how tired it would be. I’m indifference and easy going. Never feel what people called wrath. But if I don’t like you, you can see it easily. (“don’t like”, not “hate”. Hate is a strong word. So I try not to cross the line.) It’s not because I want to show it, but it’s something that I can’t hide.

Luckily, I have some sensitive best friends who willing to explain me about hidden emotions in people. I learned from them too. Well, sometimes I forgot what they’d taught me. My bad. x)

So, what’s the point of this post, kiddo? The point is….If you love me, or hate me, or think I’m such an annoying human being, just spill it out.  :D


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