Page 27: So-Called-Resolution: La Tristesse Ne Dure Pas

On a last day of 2010, my friend Octa, tweeted, “Resolution reschmolution. Just face whatever's coming ahead, make the most out of it and be playful.Life is too short to be sorted.“. I retweeted it, agree with him. Few years ago I started to think that resolution (maybe) was made to be forgotten, just like rules (mostly) are made to be broken. Hehe. Yep, I’m one of those who made a list, but then only remember half from all of its points. Only REMEMBER. Remember that I had made so-called-resolution on January, and then on November, Wooshaaah, I realized I didn’t do anything to make it real. :D

This image kinda reflect my past resolution: NIHIL (nihilism)

Some of it, succeeded. But most of it, no. Zero. *now I can hear Karen O singing, “You’re zerooooo”

So I think, “Yeah, I have so many plans and hopes for 2011, but let’s called it ‘plans and hopes’ instead of ‘resolution’..” And just face anything that comes.

But then life gave you some kind of these “weird jokes” just when you trying to ditch any negative energy from last year. Just when you thought your plans and hopes would come true, and you’re ready to give your best out of it! Oh yes, my dear, I’m facing it right now. Everything becomes much much harder when you think you’re ready to fight for it. Feels like hundreds tiny stones attacking me from every angle. Tiny. Because I know I’m gonna survive this phase, but it’s hard to handle, also painful.

And when you try to run away for a while with a nice treat; like watching dusk at Taman Menteng, have a cup of warm cheap instant coffee, and chat with your best friend who have similar problems and hope both of you can laugh about it – bam! Suddenly another obstacle appeared.  You were stuck in a sucky traffic jam. You missed the dusk. When you arrived, the sky had turned to black. Been there, done that. But I still had a great time with my best friend. Sit on a parking building roof, and yes, thank God we had our cheap instant coffee and nice conversation about our problems. We still haven’t found the answers for every sh*t. But at least we still had fun and didn’t jump from the rooftop for feeling frustrated :D

Thank God she wrote this post, which reminds me that morning, that I have this ability to be sad and laugh about it right away, even at the same moment. I was sad, but no fuss about it. I know life’s a bitch sometimes, and shit happened, but I know at the end, life goes on and I got to move on. That’s what she loves about me.

Oh Dae Su in Old Boy said, “Need not worry about the future, imagine nothing.” It’s a nice quote. But how can I keep my mind from wandering? I’m a dreamer. Always been, and I guess always will. I know what’s real, because I also know what’s not. And I’ll take the risk to get worry about future rather than imagine nothing. I have no doubt that, sometimes, it’s a good thing for not having imagination or so, because it protecting you for putting hopes so much on something (or someone). *Again, been there, done that...

But hey, there’s another quote from Old Boy when you think your world trembling down because your imagination betrays you. “Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and you weep alone..” So don’t weep all the time. Remember to laugh. Because, my dear fellas, “La Tristesse Ne Dure Pas”, sadness doesn’t last… That’s my so-called-resolution for..the rest of my life.:)

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One day we’ll have our coffee at place once was the center of existentialism, my dear Shint: Saint Germain. Just like Sartre and Beauvoir. Amen to that! :D

PS: i was listening to Thom Yorke's "Atoms For Peace" while wrote this post.. And this line, somehow perfectly fit with it.. 
"No more talk about the old days..It's time for something great"

:D