"
Breathe, keep breathing. Don't lose your nerve" -
Radiohead



Page 90: “Can’t”, Or Just “Don’t Want To”

/ Monday, September 5, 2011 /
This morning, a good friend of mine, Veve, a very nice and artsy woman, gave me link about letting go and acceptance. That writing enlightens her, about her ex that caused her heart breaks and makes her hard to move on.

It makes me think about men in my past: those who broke my heart. But wait, were that their responsibilities? Is it wise to blame them for that? The answer is no. They might take part in it, but I also have role. I also let my heart wounded and refused to heal it; even I knew that I’m the one who can fix it.

A best friend once wrote about a guy whom she fell in love with, “I loved the image of you that I’ve invented, I probably never fell for the real you, so it should’ve been easy to let go”

It should’ve been easy… But,

The thing is, maybe we don’t want to stop waiting and hoping because we don’t want to believe that it’s over. We deny that this long and tiring journey must end…just-like-that. We can see the finish line, actually. It’s lying there, and we’re so close. And we know it isn’t him or her that waiting for us on the line. Probably even no one there. And we should take a rest before starting a new journey. But we resist to cross the line because we refuse to believe the bitter reality that bites, chew, and eventually spitting us out. We can move on, we just don't want to. And we wait, for a quite long time. And then long enough. Until we get used to it and it becomes too long and devastating, but we didn't realize it. Sometimes we go back to the route we’ve passed, because it’s so beautiful and comforting; sweet memories that drowned us. But for what? A smile? Yes, indeed.

After that, you still have to continue the journey…

For one simple reason:
you can’t make time freeze.




 “We can’t stay here
We’re starting to feel the same
We can’t stay here
We can’t stand this way”

The National – Guest Room

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