"
Breathe, keep breathing. Don't lose your nerve" -
Radiohead



Page 120: “Alexander” and 2011

/ Thursday, December 29, 2011 /
"Alexander" is a sad story. Some kind of contemplative and locupletative trigger. Told me to let a lot of things go, because “your hands were not made to palm the stars.” True. In reality those stars were meant for my sight only; visual pleasures only. I should keep some real things real, and some dreams only live in a cozy alcove with my blue unicorn.

“Start running, please don't stop,” he said. So those chains won't capture me.
Good reason. I ran. And I got tired. And then I remembered that my hands were not made to palm the stars. Perhaps my feet were not made to run forever. So I stopped because maybe those chains already got tired too and not long enough to chase me. I made it. I was fast enough to beat them, or maybe because I’m not 71. Not yet.


“Alexander” reminds me of my parents. Reminds me of a man I once loved who already passed away. Reminds me to keep living life before I can't breathe, clutching someone, and my face turn to pale, and the panic nailed to my eyes.

“Alexander” was on my playlist,
heavy rotation,
sometimes the only one in the list,
two months before the year’s end.
2011.

2011…
I ran, I had a sad story, I got tired, I gave up on some things and some people, I failed. But I’ve got enlightened on some issues also. Found more silver linings to grip. 2011 is Alexander. *by the way, I’ve met the guy who wrote and sing it, in person. Nice coincidence, eh? :)

image courtesy: Ken Jenie
2011 stuffed with sucks things:
1.    Broken hearted (again). But I had moved on. A friend told me that the guy, the one I used to call “my dear nothing”, dating a girl now. I won’t say I’m happy for him. Because I’m not, for this time. But I’m happy because that news wasn’t making me feel like a wrecking ball. I keep rolling. I’m happy for me. :)
2.    Failed on some test. Got to learn harder.
3.    Lost my wallet with some money in it.
4.    Reshuffled friendship. But I believe that everyone who was in my journey is meant to be in it, but not everyone is meant to stay there. Fully aware of that. That’s just the way it is.

2011 also filled with good things:
1.    Had a fun and fantastic trip to Vietnam and Cambodia with my best friends. Still working on to write about the journey. Lame travel writer, I am. Haha.
2.    Get a new job that hopefully can gratify my interest in education. Thank God I have nice and lunatic colleagues in this new place. Haha.



3.    Met one of my favorite authors: Jostein Gaarder. Oh, for you who want to get the copy of his lecture material about human and environment could leave a message, and then I’ll send it (hopefully) right away.


4.    Fixed my broken heart.
5.    Finishing two independent projects.

May next year bring us more goodness. And no doomsday just like the one been described in Mayan prophecy! :))

2 comments:

{ dita } on: January 5, 2012 at 12:46 PM said...

Gyaaaa... you met Jostein Gardner??
Oh well, I met the Huble Space-telescope. #siditaembuungeleh

{ hertiana dwi putri } on: January 5, 2012 at 1:03 PM said...

yep yep... i met him, hihi! ow ow, ngeri kali ketemu hubble spaceee :))
happy new year ditaaaa... :)

 
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