The solidarity of bodies, unity at the center of the mortal and suffering flesh. This is what we are and nothing else. We are this plus human genius in all its forms, from the child to Einstein.
No, … it is not humiliating to be unhappy. Physical suffering is sometimes humiliating, but the suffering of being cannot be, it is life. … What you must do now is nothing more than live like everybody else. You deserve, by what you are, a happiness, a fullness that few people know. Yet today this fullness is not dead, it is a part of life and, to its credit, it reigns over you whether you want it to or not. But in the coming days you must live alone, with this hole, this painful memory. This lifelessness that we all carry inside of us — by us, I mean to say those who are not taken to the height of happiness, and who painfully remember another kind of happiness that goes beyond the memory.
Sometimes, for violent minds, the time that we tear off for work, that is torn away from time, is the best. An unfortunate passion.
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My best friend sent me those words above a few days ago. Somehow it feels like they kinda compatible with what I felt lately (also with Radiohead’s Scatterbrain). You know, when you feel like you’re emotionally exhausted, like you have this fathomless-inexplicable fatigue that can lead you to numbness and think that the best way to live your life and get away from your problems/suffer is probably to just take everything that you have in front of you? To realize that some people are meant to not get what they want – no matter how simple those things are, or no matter how hard they have tried – and just embrace it..be aloof..indifferent?
Yeah, I’m jaded. I still am. But I’ve been trying to cope with it by thinking that, “well, that's life, and suffering is part of it. Maybe the process to deal with it makes you stronger and wiser”.
And although i can't say that i'm totally zen right now, i'm ready to have hopes on several things again..to say to myself, "i can pull it off".
I guess.
:)
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