"
Breathe, keep breathing. Don't lose your nerve" -
Radiohead



Page 267: Fragments of Trust

/ Friday, May 2, 2014 /
Deep down inside I always know that I have trust issue when it comes to friendship or any kind of emotional bond with people. It takes more than months, sometimes years, to be able to tell someone how I really feel about something. It’s more than kindness or just fun moments that we’ve shared to be able to trust them, rely on them for certain things, tell them problems that torture me. Although I believe in something called chemistry and it would help me to take off the thorny fence. Still, for me, the transaction of trust isn’t as simple as exchanging kindness. I can be super nice to people who treat me nicely, even if I don’t fully trust them. Help them when they need me, even if I don’t really like them. I rarely instantly decide to dislike a person, though. Try my best not to absorb the bitterness.

But trust is a different case. It’s in a different area. It always comes with the fear of betrayal. And just like love, when it’s unrequited, it causes pain, causes invisible wound. Don’t you think not to be able to gain trust from someone whom you trust is another form of betrayal too? I think it is.



If the Divine master plan is perfection
Maybe next I'll give Judas a try

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