"
Breathe, keep breathing. Don't lose your nerve" -
Radiohead



Page 305: Delicate December

/ Tuesday, December 22, 2015 /
December always affects me in a weird way.

It makes me (want to) do crazy stuff, it invites inexplicable anxiety and nurture it to grow, it scares me a little bit because it has this ability to reminds me that in a month I’ll be a year older than I am right now. It’s like an evil giant clock that haunts me.

It makes me think more about the plight of being mortal.

And fate, fate..always finds a way to lure and encourage me to do some obnoxious shit and be (more) reckless. Like that afternoon..that breezy afternoon when I was ready to do thing that I usually won’t commit to. A thing that I planned to be my closure if the chance was there.

To end some clandestine adventure that I’ve started.
To draw a new map that will take me to a new place where I can nurture some kind of serenity.
To start a new chapter and to feel brave again.

But fate..fate also knows how to brag about how powerful it can be – wipes all expectations and makes you feel stupid and like..shit. Haha.

And I giggled as soon as I’ve crashed into bed that night. I laughed at my own stupid mission. A stupid-failed-mission. An epic one, actually.

Pretty funny, though. Just add a bunch of bitchy and silly comments and I can keep the reputation as the laughing stock.

But I’m glad that I’ve challenged myself and decided to give it a try.

And as my mind rode the black unicorn to the dream land, I wondered..
”has anyone ever told him that he kind of smells like something delicate and creamy?”



Weep, little lion man,
You're not as brave as you were at the start

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