"
Breathe, keep breathing. Don't lose your nerve" -
Radiohead



Page 321: The Ultimate Expression

/ Sunday, November 20, 2016 /
He was a stranger that happened to be one my closest friends’ good friend. I heard stories about him. About the depression he had, and how he’d been trying to fight it before he shot himself. I never met him, but one night, a few days after his death, I cried for him. I cried for anyone that committed suicide. I cried for everyone who’s still dealing with the urge to check out early. I understand depression. I understand loneliness. I know the irksome feeling that comes from not knowing why you can’t be happy with a life that people perceive as a good life. But before that night, I didn’t think that somehow I would understand suicide.  

It’s logical, isn’t it? In a way. It's like the ultimate expression of free will. It's like..leaving a room that you've been living in since you could remember although you knew that you never signed anything to be placed in that room. And then you realized it's a shitty room. And there's an unlocked door to leave it forever. When you don't believe that the afterlife exists, and you constantly feel this pain, but you don't know why, it makes sense that you just want to vanish, right?


Right.
 
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