After that, everything in my life seemed to crumbling down, one by one. My former employer decided not to renew my contract as a consultant. And then I didn’t get the scholarship I wanted. And my mom was sick. And my dad was on the verge of mild depression. And my heart was broken..again.
They all happened in 2016. It’s not a good year. It’s a huge reminder that life has defeated me by throwing me the huge rocks called “misfortune”, over and over. I know I still have a decent place to stay and food to swallow, but it doesn’t mean that my problems weren’t real. This year I took the break. I allowed myself to cry when I felt like I need to. I allowed myself to curse the universe.
But 2016 helped me to realize who my real friends are, people I can’t count on even when I reveal the bitter queen in me. It helped me to know who’d say “take your time, let me know if you need anything”; or those who’d send me a cake all of a sudden just to cheer me up; or those who’d listen to me whining for the umpteenth time, and still hug me afterwards. That they will be my support system most of the time and I would do the same when they need me the most.
And I went to UK this year, a country that I wanted to visit from the age of 13. And I loved it. I loved the weather (that it rained a lot. Don’t you just love the smell of the earth after the rain?), the diversity, the tube, the old buildings, the houses, the park, and how I can be the real pedestrian and walked most of the time. I went to Tate Modern and saw Salvador Dali’s Metamorphosis of Narcissus, Rene Magritte’s The Annunciation and Jane Alexander’s African Adventure with my own eyes. I met my buddies again. And I remembered how happy I was.
Right now, I can say that the hurricane has gone. Well pretty much. I got a new job, I’m learning new things, I’m making plans for personal projects, and I smile every time I remember something about my aunt. My heart? Still beating somehow. Surviving. Reposing?
Reposing..yeah she needs it.
I hate you, 2016. And I’m sure many people feel the same. You’re a shitty year, you’re a rotten year. Thank you for torturing me, thank you for London and Scotland, thank you for giving me a new job. But I still hate you. I do. Fuck you 2016.
But 2016 helped me to realize who my real friends are, people I can’t count on even when I reveal the bitter queen in me. It helped me to know who’d say “take your time, let me know if you need anything”; or those who’d send me a cake all of a sudden just to cheer me up; or those who’d listen to me whining for the umpteenth time, and still hug me afterwards. That they will be my support system most of the time and I would do the same when they need me the most.
And I went to UK this year, a country that I wanted to visit from the age of 13. And I loved it. I loved the weather (that it rained a lot. Don’t you just love the smell of the earth after the rain?), the diversity, the tube, the old buildings, the houses, the park, and how I can be the real pedestrian and walked most of the time. I went to Tate Modern and saw Salvador Dali’s Metamorphosis of Narcissus, Rene Magritte’s The Annunciation and Jane Alexander’s African Adventure with my own eyes. I met my buddies again. And I remembered how happy I was.
Right now, I can say that the hurricane has gone. Well pretty much. I got a new job, I’m learning new things, I’m making plans for personal projects, and I smile every time I remember something about my aunt. My heart? Still beating somehow. Surviving. Reposing?
Reposing..yeah she needs it.
I hate you, 2016. And I’m sure many people feel the same. You’re a shitty year, you’re a rotten year. Thank you for torturing me, thank you for London and Scotland, thank you for giving me a new job. But I still hate you. I do. Fuck you 2016.
1 comments:
Hugs, my dear! I wish I could be there for you in person.
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