Page 349: On Leaving

Some say that leaving is easier than staying. I say, it depends. Sometimes it’s harder. It takes strength, courage, determination even. And it doesn’t always about running away or abandonment. It could be the gesture of trusting; to have faith in ourselves and in everything that we left behind, that they will be fine, and we will be too.

Everything..including people. Especially people, a set of hardest factor to walk away from. But it’s odd yet amazing how big and flexible a heart can be, to adjust and provide some space where we can mention names of those we have left, hoping that they will be okay.

As a person who’d care for people as long as I can sense that they still want me in their life, leaving is more about giving them some piece of serenity.

There's a little spark of sadness somewhere in my chest, of course.
But no resentment so far. 

No thorny fence will be built by me to keep them away, but I won't create a new path as well to reach out to them.

It’s my kind of non-zero-sum game farewell.
The final bellyache*.

It's inevitable.
And it is what it is.

*

Page 348: Current Addiction (part 21)

Yesterday my good friend Fely made a lovely painting of the pool scene from the movie Whip It. 

image courtesy: here

And just like that, I’ve been listening Jens Lekman’s Night Falls Over Kortedala over and over since last night. It’s been years since the last time I listened to this album. I still listen to Your ArmsAround Me sometimes, but other songs from that album has been away for a while from my playlist.

image courtesy: here

Impression is an interesting thing. The first time I listened the whole album it was okay. But now, I really like it. Lekman is indeed a versatile lyricist. I mean, come on, anyone who can write about pretending to be a lesbian’s boyfriend to hide that fact from her father, is, right? I like his sense of humor too.

Good album.

Page 347: Finding a Feather

Woke up this morning and found this tiny feather on the floor next to my bed. Kinda odd. I live on the 19th floor and there was no bird has entered my apartment. And I swept the floor at 8ish last night. Maybe the wind brought it here after that.

But maybe it's like..what some people say about finding a feather..that it's a positive omen that your calls have been heard and answered. 

Whether it's the wind or the omen, it made me smile. It made me happy. I still am happy.

I guess I wouldn't have been that happy if the night before I didn't go to bed with this..sadness and felt overwhelmed with many things and prayed really hard to the Almighty to get a little piece of serenity again. 

And I wouldn't be this happy if I didn't feel relieved a few hours ago when I realized that...I have let some circus and monkeys go. I used to think they're mine. I used to think they're precious. Now I know I was just one of the audience and it's time for me to leave the circus. It was a good show, though. Those monkeys were pretty entertaining. But that's it. 

And that's that.

:)

Page 346: DIY project this weekend - Himmeli

Are you that kinda person who likes to buy things because they look nice or cute and you think you can do some DIY project later with them but you’re not quite sure what the project is going to be? Yes? You’re nodding right now? Gimme high five, luv! Haha. So I bought this set of cute paper straws long time ago because..I have a soft spot for stripes. I’m okay with pink although it’s not my favorite color, not even make it to the top three. And I thought maybe I could do some DIY project with them later. But..like I mentioned in the beginning, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with them. So I just kept them somewhere in my room. But last week, after visiting Kemang Rooftop Market 2 at Coworkinc and met and talked to Takako, a talented and sweet Japanese crafter who lives in Indonesia and made himmelis, I thought maybe I could use those straws to make my own himmeli. I bought one of her mini himmelis too.

For those who are still unfamiliar with himmeli, it’s a traditional ornament with 3D geometric shape in Finland. The name "himmeli" is derived from Germanic / Swedish word "himmel", means "heaven". The traditional himmelis are made out of straws, hang above dining tables from the holiday season until Midsummer, believed to bring a good crop for the coming year. Recently, many designers and crafters have been inspired by the variant shapes of himmelis and use it for many things: hanging ornaments, planter, pendant, chair, etc.

If you want to make your own, there are many tutorials out there. From himmelis that used straws, to those that used brass pipes. Through this post, I’m just gonna share my own experiment making himmelis for the first time. I was planning to make