Page 322: it's (not) just a pat

To be a woman means that every now and then you can have bad days when strangers assault you on the street and you’d still have the strength to yell at them, or punch them in the face, or kick them in the balls.

But there’s a day, like today, when you had a long day, and feel too tired to yell. Too tired to express the anger. Too tired to hold your tears when some stranger on a motorbike squeezed your ass and laughed as he fled. All you want that it never happened. And you just stared at the older man who saw it and told you to stop crying, because “it’s just a pat”. You’re speechless. You’re tired.

Because to him, it’s just a pat or a squeeze. To you, it’s a violation of your personal space, your haven, your approval. To him it’s just a pat or a squeeze. To you it’s a cruel act, telling you that what you wear, how you behave, or do things that make you feel proud of yourself, doesn’t matter that much. Because on the street, you’re just a piece of meat that they can touch whenever they want to feel more powerful.

There’s a day, like today, when I wished I had the power to be invisible.

Page 242: Pardon?

Read this piece of an article posted by Jakarta Globe, and tell me...please tell me that I’m not the only one who thinks that the plan is totally ridiculous.

A plan by the Education Agency of Prabumulih, South Sumatra, to include virginity tests as part of its high school admission requirements has drawn the ire of legislators and education experts, who say that such an exam is a violation of personal space and an obstruction to a student’s right to an education.

H.M. Rasyid, the chief of Prabumulih’s Education Agency, told the Indonesian news portal kompas.com on Monday that increasing instances of premarital sex and prostitution among female students prompted the move.

“We’re planning on conducting virginity tests for senior high school students,” Rasyid said. “We have proposed it in the 2014 regional budget.”

Err…Pardon? What? Hah?
Sorry sir...but could you please explain it to me with some reliable research…what’s the correlation between morality and virginity?

O, and I also found an article about MUI agreed to that plan and encourages the government to make a policy about it because MUI thinks it prevents students from putridity. How about making a policy to prevent corruption and imbecility among politicians instead?

And why are you planning it only for FEMALE students?

Fuckin’ stupid misogynysts.

Page 179: Need. Needed. Needy

She: sometimes I think a girl that act dumb, needy, when actually she’s smart and independent, is kinda use her brain to attract man. They know that most men still have this perspective that men have to be superior to women, even the smart ones. They use it as a weapon, a particular strategy so those men will feel that these girls need them. Mmm…most of men prefer needy and spoiled women. Well, we know that they usually do. I think that’s why we think that it is hard to find a boyfriend. While actually, for them, independent and smart women like you and me…

Me: hahahaha. Independent and smart?

She: wait! We are. Independent and smart women like us, are pretty hard to handle. Because we have this image, that we don’t need them. Not as much as those act-dumb-needy girls.

This is not a sexist writing and I am not intending to make it vaguely looks like that, but somehow I agree with my friend on “most men need a needy woman, even the smart ones”. I knew it because I saw evidences (and experienced it). Other friend said that it’s not a shocker, because sometimes it is nice to be needed; to get the feeling that somebody rely on you, ask you like you’re on the same level of intelligence with Tesla, craving for your advice like you’re one of the wisest people on earth, etc. And by being needed by needy person, it’s like exaggerating the number of how important is you for this person.

And maybe, yeah, it’s an “effective” strategy to win a man, but somehow I think, “Bollocks! I refuse to act dumb, or needy”. If I don’t know about something, or really need help, I’ll ask. But I won’t pretend if I actually can handle it by myself just to get attentions. It’s not only condescending, but also degrading every woman. Degrading men too, because that kind of attitude make them look like needy and megalomaniac creatures that measure their existence from women who whining asking for their help for every unnecessary thing.

Maybe, at the end, it’s about self-content and territory.