Breathe, keep breathing. Don't lose your nerve" -

Page 299: Specimens

/ Monday, August 31, 2015 /
"In my solitude I have pondered much on the incomprehensible subjects of space, eternity, life and death." 
- Alfred Russel Wallace -

Went to the Salihara Gallery to see the 125,660 SPECIMENS OF NATURAL HISTORY and there was a time when I was alone and being in that room filled with zoological specimens made me shiver and i felt a weird sensation crawled through my spine

Don’t get me wrong, it’s an enticing exhibition, but seeing those specimens was like a portrait of how human being tries to understand their existence by conquering and preserving nature, while still carrying questions in our heads and struggling with all damage we do.

Sounds a little morbid, I know.

Page 298: Sometimes (part 31)

/ /
Once I read this crazy news about a guy who attacked a woman because her "happiness" angered him.

As much as I sympathized for the victim, I felt sorry for that man and hoped that he would be able to absorb happiness again. And somehow I understood his anger. His depression caused by this life. I’m not saying that it’s okay to hurt people just because you envy them, but sometimes life gives you too much burden on your back, inexplicable suffocating problems and riddles that make suggestions like “be patient” or “everything will be okay” sound incredibly stupid.

Sometimes, life is a cruel joke.
A very cruel one.

And I know that I can survive
I'll walk through fire to save my life

And I want it, I want my life so bad
I'm doing everything I can
Then another one bites the dust
It's hard to lose a chosen one

You did not break me
I'm still fighting for peace

Page 297: Sometimes (part 30)

/ Sunday, August 9, 2015 /
Sometimes you need to listen to a bit-cheesy-yet-classic-good pop song to realize how silly your relationship was and to remind yourself to get back to reality.
That it has gone south.
That it's asymmetrical.
That it was probably never there anyway.

Wake up.

Maybe there's no way we could feel each other's pain. 
Tell me why it gets harder to know where I stand.

Page 296: Current Addiction (Part 17): Novo Amor

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The first time I saw the Axe Black commercial, the soundtrack attracted me immediately. The search began and thanks to google, it wasn’t hard to find the owner of that dreamy voice: Novo Amor. I played Welcome to the Jungle (originally sang by Guns N’ Roses) over and over while I was (illegally hehe) downloading other songs from this British musician who started out working as an experimental sound designer.

His music reminds me of Bon Iver’s with a little touch of Sigur Ros’s. Enchanting voice, a little bit murky lyrics, nevertheless is still soothing.


Page 295: Grow

/ Sunday, May 24, 2015 /
Once Heraclitus said, “The only thing that is constant is change.”

As you grow older, you will discover that it's true. That you will change. Your parents, family and closest friends they will or have changed, and will keep changing – deliberately or not, slightly or boldly. The way they perceive things, the way they see life, the way they do things that they think work best for them, and reasons why they did and chose things.

You might not like it. But it’s inevitable.

And it’s important to understand that you and them are fallible.
It’s important to understand that they might have decided to choose paths that are different from yours.
It’s important to try to understand that they have their own considerations and have thought about the consequences.
It’s important to understand that it’s okay as long as they don’t hurt themselves or join terrorists group.
It’s important to understand that things that make you happy might not work for them, or even entice them.
It’s important to understand that perhaps life has given them unimaginable challenges and pressures that made them throw everything they used to have faith in.

Sometimes all you have to do is be with them, share comforting stories as well as a laugh or two – embrace the moment. 
It’s hard not to judge, but it’s not that difficult to hold the judgment inside.

Sometimes, all you have to do is try to understand that when people grow, they grow apart.
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