Page 39: The Lesson Today is How to Die*

Just because what you did was wrong, doesn't mean that giving up on your life is right.

-The United States of Leland-

That’s one of my most favorite quotes in the movie, because it stands out to fight all of the negative but clever words that came from Leland, the main character.

I think it wasn’t merely drama movie, but also contains hidden horror ingredients. It’s quite scary movie; because the thoughts of sadness, nothingness, and death was served in such an elegant yet simple way. It has a translucent statement, that die is better than live in a pathetic life when you think that you’re a miserable human being and people do think so. It brought up some kind of delicate approval to design your own death when you couldn’t bear the agony. Subtle provocations that “checked out” earlier from this world, or kill somebody to erase his/her pain were…okay.

image: Suicide by Celticwillow

Few days ago my friend, Bege, wrote in his facebook status, about a man whose wife commits suicide because she couldn’t stand being poor. It’s such a tragic story. Even your children couldn’t be the reason for you to hang on in this life.
But the man moved on. Keep working to fulfill the basic necessities of their children. Thank God he did. He’s the living lesson about survival, love, and responsibility in this imperfect world.

Yes, life is far from perfect, indeed.
And there’s no such thing called “happily ever after” in real life. But same thing happen with sadness, anyway.
They share the same throne. Sometimes happiness rules the kingdom, other times sadness is the king.
In life, alteration is constant. And uncertainty is definite.
There's always a chance things change drastically in an instant.
Good things turns to bad. Vice versa.
So when everything seems went wrong, it doesn’t mean that life is not worth for living anymore. It doesn't mean that die is the only answer. Some people say suicide is an option. But "option" means it's just one way among others. You can choose to die, or think about how you want to die, or you can choose and think about how to live your life. Because, hey, guess what, at the end, you'll die.. Why rushing?

Just “Breathe. Keep breathing. Don’t lose your nerve…” **
Breathe...

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*taken from “I Don’t Like Mondays” by Tori Amos
**pretty line from "Exit Music(For a Film)" by Radiohead

P.S. So here’s some kind of puzzle about suicide. I was raised with the thought that suicide is one of those sins which God won’t have mercy upon. But if God had wrote your destiny, and death was something that you can’t avoid because it already been scheduled and destined, wouldn’t suicide also part of the big plan? I couldn’t find the answer ‘til now, so I guess I have to put that somewhere in my head, labeled it with “Wallahu allam bissawab” sticky note.